Rest in Peace, Zippy

Last night about 10pm our cat Zippy began seizing and gasping for breath. I held him as Laura stroked him and uttered soothing words. Eventually his breathing returned to normal. I laid him down on a cushion in the bedroom, where he remained conscious but quiescent.

Shortly afterwards we turned out the light and went to bed, but no sooner had we settled down to sleep than we perceived Zippy moving. I turned on the light just in time to see Zippy totter over to his favorite bath mat. He heaved himself down on the mat, took one last gasping breath, and died.

While he was still warm, Laura combed out his fur until it shone with smoothness. This morning I wrapped him in a few of my old shirts (Zippy always loved the smell of my shirts), and set him in the hole in the yard along with his brush, a favorite toy, and some catnip. I tossed a handful of dirt and left the rest for Listo.

Zippy's been with us almost fifteen years, through four different cities. I'll miss him, but I'm happy that he is now at peace.

How Many Lives Does the Cat Have Left?

Above is a photo of Zippy just last year, middle-aged but still in the bloom of health, strong and happy. He may look fat but it's just that thick coat of his.

You may recall my post of November 2007 in which I described how Zippy had suddenly lost his appetite. He has never recovered.

The veterinarian in Coronado, Dr. Jaime Reyes, finally figured out that Zippy has an intestinal tumor. Dr. Reyes operated in an attempt to remove the tumor, but it was too far inside the abdomen and could not be reached. So the doctor sewed him back up and I took him home. That was an ordeal as he could hardly move for days and required constant care.

Zippy has been in bad shape since then. He no longer eats or takes water. He is down to perhaps 9 pounds or less, from his original 18.

I have been worried that Zippy is suffering and is perhaps in pain. So last week I asked the local vet, Dr. Greco, to come to our house and put Zippy to sleep. We dug a hole in the front yard near the fence to bury Zippy, and I gathered a few of his favorite toys to keep him company in the afterlife.

Dr. Greco came to our house Friday afternoon. We said our goodbyes to Zippy and petted him as Dr. Greco trimmed his fur on one leg to expose an injection site. Unfortunately Dr. Greco is rather old and he accidentally cut Zippy's leg with the scissors. I was not happy about that. Because of Zippy's emaciated state, Dr. Greco had trouble trouble finding a vein. He tried three times but was unable to inject the euthanizing drug.

Finally I said stop. I had been deeply conflicted about the whole thing anyway, so I took it as a sign that Zippy should reach his own end naturally.

So the hole in the yard is still there, but Zippy is still here, alive and surviving if not thriving. Since Friday Laura and I have been feeding him an ounce or so of an egg & milk concoction by syringe.

Here's Zippy as he appears now:

Laura's Birthday; Spanish Study; Summer

Yesterday was Laura's birthday and we went down to the beach at Santa Clara for the day for a day by ourselves (we left Salma with Ani). It was a lovely day, bright and warm, and the water not too rough. We swam, lounged in the hammocks, ate three entire fish for lunch - one corvina and two red snappers - played cards, went back in the water for a while, and then returned home by 4:30pm. A nice day overall.

Zippy unfortunately is sick again, and Laura has just left to take him down to Dr. Jaime Reyes in Coronado once again. Zippy improved markedly after the last visit to Dr. Reyes, but after a week he once again refused to eat. So we'll see... I know he's old, but I don't think that's the problem. I suspect he has a parasite or infection of some sort. Fortunately veterinary care here is quite cheap.

We've been taking Spanish lessons with Cleo twice a week. He comes to the house at 7:30pm, after he's finished with work and Salma is asleep. Our classes are typically two hours. The first hour we make conversation, and the second hour we study grammar. I do feel that my skills have improved, but it's very difficult and I have so much still to learn. I have not really mastered the use of direct and indirect object pronouns (se, le, lo, la, etc), I confused preterite and imperfect tenses when speaking in the past, I don't know future tense very well, and I don't know conditional tenses at all (could have, should have, might have, etc).

So, a lot to learn still.

Summer is almost here. It's raining much less, the wind has already picked up, and it's much cooler these days. I was hoping to install some wooden shutters on the living room window screens before the summer winds arrive, but it will have to wait.

Laura and Salma will return to the U.S. for Christmas. I will stay here, though I will make a brief trip to Costa Rica by bus to renew my visa. We're close to initiating the residency application process; it will be a relief to have that taken care of.

Zippy the Cat

A few people have expressed concern about Salma, since I wrote some time ago that she was not feeling well. Not to worry, she's fine.

It's true that for more than two weeks she had a fever, vomiting, diarrhea and sleeplessness, and we couldn't figure out the problem. Well, it turned out that she had four molars coming in at once. That's a painful change and it was wreaking havoc on all her systems, but once the teeth came in she was fine.

Our cat Zippy, on the other hand, is not doing so well. He's the orange on on the right, above.

Zippy is almost 14 years old now. He lived with me for years in my studio apartment on Market Street in San Francisco, then years more in Oakland after Laura and I were married, then in Linda's house in Palo Alto after I moved to Panama, and then finally he made the trip here to El Valle de Anton.

Both Zippy and Li'l Fishy settled in well here and have been quite happy, but I'm aware that they are getting quite high up in years for a cat.

Zippy has always had a healthy appetite, but about two weeks ago he suddenly began refusing to eat. At first we thought maybe he had eaten a toad or a gecko. The thing is he still has the desire for food. He cries for food at his mealtimes, but when we put his bowl down he simply walks away without tasting it. We called the local vet and he thought that maybe Zippy had an infected tooth, so he gave him antiobiotic injections for three days, and gave us a vitamin solution to feed to Zippy with a syringe.

Two weeks later there has been no change. Zippy's weight has dropped from 18 pounds to 13.5. We can get him to eat a spoonful of wet food at a time but it takes five minutes of following him around, enticing him and petting him.

We may take him down to a vet in Coronado who has more diagnostic facilities. But in the end I think we have to accept the fact that our beloved companion is nearing his last days.

I'm happy that Zippy has been able to live out his last years here in this beautiful place. He loves to go out in the yard and watch the birds, chase frogs, eat grass and lay on the car in the sun. There are no cars to worry about, and the few dogs who wander into our yard leave Zippy alone because he's much larger than the local feral cats. The house itself is by far the largest place we have lived in and Zippy has many comfy spots to sleep or relax. So I feel good for him that he has been able to experience this perfect place.

Dripping With Dreams

Dreams are postcards from our subconscious, inner self to outer self, right brain trying to cross that moat to the left. Too often they come back unread: "return to sender, addressee unknown." That's a shame because it's a whole other world out there--or in here depending on your point of view.
- Dennis Koenig and Jordan Budde, Northern Exposure, Roots, 1991

I woke up several times during the night just dripping with dreams, really, my mind coated with a condensation of visions and nightmares. Dreams of secret societies (in which I was a member), alien invasions (I was an alien), chases, gunfights and close escapes, and Panama. I wonder what that says about my perception of my own role in society.

Dreams have always been as vivid and real to me as waking life. There are some that stay with me forever. Sometimes this can be tiring. Which reminds me of another quotation about dreams by someone, I don't know who:

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

Moving on...

The night before last the wind tore off one of our rain gutters, and pushed the vacuum cleaner along the floor until it blocked the front door. Yesterday these "summer breezes" blew the paintings off the walls, knocked a framed photo off a table, tipped over a few of my tagua carvings, blew some pillows off the living room sofa, and just generally caused a ruckus. Needless to say, all of us are unnerved, except perhaps Salma.

Zippy is adjusting well to his new life here in Panama, though the strong winds worry him. I try to give him a lot of attention, particularly by combing him, which he needs desperately with that long fur of his. Panamanian visitors to our house are not used to such a large cat, and keep their distance. Actually that used to happen in Oakland too.

Salma is gradually getting back into her routine. Linda is helping tremendously and I think that once she's gone I may hire a part time nanny to care for Salma in the mornings and early afternoon, while Laura catches up on her sleep and I work.

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig

All have arrived safely and even a bit early, Alhamdulillah (all praise and thanks to God). Laura and Linda, the little munchkin Salma, and Zippy the cat. Zippy's size turned out not to be an issue. Nora helped us get him through customs as usual, with the standard payments of $50 each to two separate veterinarians, and a $130 customs fee.

We could not fit everything in the car, so Nora took the ice cream maker home with her. We managed to squeeze everything else in, and tied the trunk lid down with bungee cords. I had left the spare tire at home so that gave us a little more room. Fortunately we had no flat tires and no rain on the long drive home.

Salma has been giving me lots of smiles and laughs. She is much larger than when I last saw her, and her hair is lighter in color. She holds herself upright in my arms and turns fully in any direction.

When we brought Zippy into the house and let him out of the carrier, Li'l Fishy recognized him right away and made a beeline for him with her tail up in the air. Zippy proceeded to explore the entire house as Fishy followed him, occasionally smelling his fur.

Salma will need some time to adjust to the time change. Right now everyone in the house is asleep or feeling very sleepy, except for Salma, who is laying in her crib a foot feet away from me, talking to herself and thumping her right foot (her kicking leg). She is saying, "Oh da da da. Hey, hey. Ya ya ya. Dat, dat, aya. Heh, heh, oh ya da da." This da-da sound is new, I've never heard it before. But I'm not so vain as to imagine that she is saying "Daddy" just yet.

Laura's New Travel Date

One of Salma's recent phases of learning was the discovery of her tongue. She went through a period when she was constantly sticking out her tongue and feeling it (not a very hygienic habit). Fortunately that stage is passed and now she has moved on to rolling the tongue around the inside of her mouth, exploring the contours of her cheeks and palate.

I sent out Eid greetings and New Year's wishes to many of my friends, some of whom have not heard from me in a while. So for those who are new to my blog, welcome. If this is your first time seeing photos of my daughter Salma, you're probably wondering, what's that lump on her head? Did she fall?

No, she did not fall and she is not growing antennae. It is a type of birth mark called a strawberry hemangioma, a collection of blood vessels under the skin. We are told that it will begin to shrink as Salma grows, and will finally be only a flat mark. Most disappear by age 5 or 6, and some by age 9. It is not dangerous and recommended treatment is simply to wait.

Laura is now at her mom's house and doing well, AlHamdulillah. She's back to eating solid food and is happy to be reunited with Salma. Laura and Linda's new travel date to Panama is January 8th. They were able to reschedule the flight date with a note from Laura's doctor explaining that she could not travel on the earlier date. They will also be bringing Zippy with them, I believe.

I'm looking forward to seeing them all, Insha'Allah. I have missed them but especially Salma. It's been hard, being separated from her for so long at this early stage in her life. When Laura was in the hospital for two days she said, "I'm afraid Salma is going to forget me," and I practically sputtered, "Well! What about me?"

I'm a very skilled sputterer.

By the way readers, occasionally I also have trouble getting back to the site after clicking on a photo. But you'll notice that in both Explorer and Firefox there is, next to the back button, a small arrow that allows you to pull down the recent history and select the previous page that way.